Everybody lies! Everybody Lies!! Everybody Lies!!!
Nearly any adult will tell you that lying is wrong..but we all do it anyway.
*** are you denying the fact that you lie right now? kai, you just lied again to yourself
People lie or tell half-truths for different reasons
1. Lying to Save Face
2. Lying to Shift Blame
3. Lying to Avoid Confrontation
4. Lying to protect Loved Ones
5. Lying to Get One’s Way
6. Lying to Be Nice or appear concerned
7. Lying to Make Oneself Feel Better
So back to you, your last lie was do what?
Tuesday 26 November 2013
8 Sex Conversations Every Couple Must Have
t goes without saying that you’d like to enjoy making love to your partner; yet, nearly every other aspect of sex calls for a chat. Here’s why: Couples who discuss tricky topics effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who ignore difficult subjects, according to a study by Joseph Grenny, co-author of Crucial Conversations. “A handful of conversations make the biggest difference in the strength and duration of a relationship,” says Grenny. “Talking about sexual intimacy tops that small list.” Read on for eight issues to broach and how to approach them so you can move on to more interesting things.
8 Sex Conversations Every Couple Must Have
1. Limits. Unless you want to end up in a “50 Shades of OMG what are you doing?” situation, discuss boundaries. “While it’s possible to have a good experience trying something new with no communication, it’s also possible to have a big fail,” says Carol Queen, PhD, Staff Sexologist for Good Vibrations, an online sex toy shop. Determine what kinds of play you’re OK with before someone pulls out handcuffs. Also, choose a safe word, one unrelated to sex either of you can say to halt what’s happening. To start the limits conversation, exchange one idea each about something you’d like to experience. “Worst case: Your move stays a fantasy. Best case: There are two new options on your sexual menu,” says Dr. Queen.
2. Ruts. It can be easy to move into patterns in a sexual relationship, “especially if a couple starts out with little sex information or strong opinions about what ‘normal’ sex is, leading them to reject many erotic options,” says Dr. Queen. If your sexual playbook becomes staid, she suggests talking to a sex therapist or coach—or doing some reading. “Some books, like Hot Sex! Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, are made to be browsed together, giving you spicy ideas and info to boot,” says Dr. Queen.
3. Dysfunction. Failure to launch and premature party ending are touchy subjects. “Most guys don’t want to talk about it while in bed,” says Joel D. Block, PhD, author of Do It My Way. So instead, “ask him to pleasure you—it takes the tension away from his difficulty.” If you have the issue, say, dryness, Dr. Block suggests saying, “I love when you go more slowly” or “I need more foreplay to get me started.” If dysfunction happens repeatedly, acknowledge the problem outside of the bedroom. “You could say, ‘If I’m feeling pressured it works against me, but know that I’m OK. We’ll get past this.” If he elaborates, cool. If not, drop the issue knowing you’ve at least mentioned it in a sensitive, supportive manner.
4. Safety. “It doesn’t matter how many sex partners each of you has had,” points out Dr. Queen. “HPV and other bugs hitch a ride on human genitals, just as the common cold goes for your nose and throat.” It’s best to talk about this matter-of-factly before you have sex for the first time. Try: “This is what I do for birth control” and “These are my standards for safe sex.” “It’s your body, and some conditions are forever—including unplanned offspring,” adds Dr. Queen.
?
5. Exclusivity. Don’t assume. “If you don’t come to a clear verbal agreement and think, ‘he couldn’t be with someone else,’ you’re lying to yourself,” says Laurie Puhn, couples mediator, author and creator of the nationwide course Fight Less, Love More. “Many women prefer to assume exclusivity because they’re afraid the guy won’t agree to it.” In that case, you should know and make an informed decision about whether to have sex. How do you get into that topic gracefully? “You should both feel comfortable, perhaps in one of your homes or in a dimly lit lounge,” says Puhn. “Just don’t talk about it when either of you has had more than one drink.”
6. Timing. Are you in the mood now? What about now? “If one person is raring to go and the other gives compliance sex,’ it will not only fail to be physically gratifying but also to produce emotional connection,” says Grenny. It’s better to talk about not wanting sex, but how do you say “no” without it sounding like “never”? “Touch your mate, smile and suggest another time,” says Puhn. “This says I love you and want to be intimate, but not tonight.” Be sure to follow through on the follow-up appointment.
7. Feedback. Discuss what turns you on—and what doesn’t—as unnatural as it may feel. “Our partners aren’t mind readers,” explains Dr. Queen, who suggests starting with, “There are things I think about, sexually, that I never mention.” From there, a general “Can we talk about this more?” usually does the trick. During the act, “maneuver into position and make sounds of pleasure to encourageyour partner toward a certain behavior,” says Dr. Block. “Men appreciate these nonverbal prompts.” They also respond well to comments that are about you, rather than about him. So instead of “do this,” try, “When you do this, it’s hot for me.”
8. Planning. This may sound utterly unromantic, but couples should talk about how to fit sex into their busy schedules. “Americans have intercourse an average of a bit more than once a week,” says Dr. Block. “But it’s quality, not quantity that counts.” Dr. Block suggests deciding how much is mutually acceptable, and whether that includes quiet sex while visiting relatives and unexpected quickies. If one of you is a morning sex person and the other an evening sex person, “calendar a compromise: a weekend afternoon delight or an after-work assignation,” says Dr. McDre.
8 Sex Conversations Every Couple Must Have
1. Limits. Unless you want to end up in a “50 Shades of OMG what are you doing?” situation, discuss boundaries. “While it’s possible to have a good experience trying something new with no communication, it’s also possible to have a big fail,” says Carol Queen, PhD, Staff Sexologist for Good Vibrations, an online sex toy shop. Determine what kinds of play you’re OK with before someone pulls out handcuffs. Also, choose a safe word, one unrelated to sex either of you can say to halt what’s happening. To start the limits conversation, exchange one idea each about something you’d like to experience. “Worst case: Your move stays a fantasy. Best case: There are two new options on your sexual menu,” says Dr. Queen.
2. Ruts. It can be easy to move into patterns in a sexual relationship, “especially if a couple starts out with little sex information or strong opinions about what ‘normal’ sex is, leading them to reject many erotic options,” says Dr. Queen. If your sexual playbook becomes staid, she suggests talking to a sex therapist or coach—or doing some reading. “Some books, like Hot Sex! Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, are made to be browsed together, giving you spicy ideas and info to boot,” says Dr. Queen.
3. Dysfunction. Failure to launch and premature party ending are touchy subjects. “Most guys don’t want to talk about it while in bed,” says Joel D. Block, PhD, author of Do It My Way. So instead, “ask him to pleasure you—it takes the tension away from his difficulty.” If you have the issue, say, dryness, Dr. Block suggests saying, “I love when you go more slowly” or “I need more foreplay to get me started.” If dysfunction happens repeatedly, acknowledge the problem outside of the bedroom. “You could say, ‘If I’m feeling pressured it works against me, but know that I’m OK. We’ll get past this.” If he elaborates, cool. If not, drop the issue knowing you’ve at least mentioned it in a sensitive, supportive manner.
4. Safety. “It doesn’t matter how many sex partners each of you has had,” points out Dr. Queen. “HPV and other bugs hitch a ride on human genitals, just as the common cold goes for your nose and throat.” It’s best to talk about this matter-of-factly before you have sex for the first time. Try: “This is what I do for birth control” and “These are my standards for safe sex.” “It’s your body, and some conditions are forever—including unplanned offspring,” adds Dr. Queen.
?
5. Exclusivity. Don’t assume. “If you don’t come to a clear verbal agreement and think, ‘he couldn’t be with someone else,’ you’re lying to yourself,” says Laurie Puhn, couples mediator, author and creator of the nationwide course Fight Less, Love More. “Many women prefer to assume exclusivity because they’re afraid the guy won’t agree to it.” In that case, you should know and make an informed decision about whether to have sex. How do you get into that topic gracefully? “You should both feel comfortable, perhaps in one of your homes or in a dimly lit lounge,” says Puhn. “Just don’t talk about it when either of you has had more than one drink.”
6. Timing. Are you in the mood now? What about now? “If one person is raring to go and the other gives compliance sex,’ it will not only fail to be physically gratifying but also to produce emotional connection,” says Grenny. It’s better to talk about not wanting sex, but how do you say “no” without it sounding like “never”? “Touch your mate, smile and suggest another time,” says Puhn. “This says I love you and want to be intimate, but not tonight.” Be sure to follow through on the follow-up appointment.
7. Feedback. Discuss what turns you on—and what doesn’t—as unnatural as it may feel. “Our partners aren’t mind readers,” explains Dr. Queen, who suggests starting with, “There are things I think about, sexually, that I never mention.” From there, a general “Can we talk about this more?” usually does the trick. During the act, “maneuver into position and make sounds of pleasure to encourageyour partner toward a certain behavior,” says Dr. Block. “Men appreciate these nonverbal prompts.” They also respond well to comments that are about you, rather than about him. So instead of “do this,” try, “When you do this, it’s hot for me.”
8. Planning. This may sound utterly unromantic, but couples should talk about how to fit sex into their busy schedules. “Americans have intercourse an average of a bit more than once a week,” says Dr. Block. “But it’s quality, not quantity that counts.” Dr. Block suggests deciding how much is mutually acceptable, and whether that includes quiet sex while visiting relatives and unexpected quickies. If one of you is a morning sex person and the other an evening sex person, “calendar a compromise: a weekend afternoon delight or an after-work assignation,” says Dr. McDre.
I'm In Love With My Brother and we are already intimate, What Should I Do?
Me and my younger brother have always been close, he's 18, I'm 20 and recently we've seen our relationship blossom.
I wish I were trolling, that what I'm about to tell you is a lie - but it's not, please don't judge me.
It's been this way for a month now, we'd always been typically close siblings but ever since he broke up with his girlfriend, I would comfort him and say "it's alright, you'll find someone perfect someday."
Last week we were in his room and I said those exact words, we looked into one anothers eyes and kissed.
It felt weird, he came onto me but I reciprocated and before long we were french kissing on his bed, he was touching my knee.
Then, of course, our parents returned and I felt wrong. Kind of gross, even.
I went back to my room and cried. The next day we were home alone and he kissed me again, things got out of hand and we were doing things to each other, then we made passionate love and reclined into one anothers arms.
It's been almost three days since we made love, we've been kissing and doing other things whenever we can and I can honestly say that we are in love.
We've been planning our future together, and I'm beginning to think I made a HUGE mistake - I love him, but I'm not sure if it's like that.
What should I do? I don't condone what I did at all, please don't mock me, he came on to me and I was silly enough to get blown away by it all.
I wish I were trolling, that what I'm about to tell you is a lie - but it's not, please don't judge me.
It's been this way for a month now, we'd always been typically close siblings but ever since he broke up with his girlfriend, I would comfort him and say "it's alright, you'll find someone perfect someday."
Last week we were in his room and I said those exact words, we looked into one anothers eyes and kissed.
It felt weird, he came onto me but I reciprocated and before long we were french kissing on his bed, he was touching my knee.
Then, of course, our parents returned and I felt wrong. Kind of gross, even.
I went back to my room and cried. The next day we were home alone and he kissed me again, things got out of hand and we were doing things to each other, then we made passionate love and reclined into one anothers arms.
It's been almost three days since we made love, we've been kissing and doing other things whenever we can and I can honestly say that we are in love.
We've been planning our future together, and I'm beginning to think I made a HUGE mistake - I love him, but I'm not sure if it's like that.
What should I do? I don't condone what I did at all, please don't mock me, he came on to me and I was silly enough to get blown away by it all.
Friday 21 June 2013
BBATheChase: Get Over The Séx And Nudíty Already
A couple of days ago the shocking results of a study regarding gay pórn
were released. Well, to the general population of the world, the fact
that people Nigeria and Pakistan watch gay pórn probably wouldn’t be
something capable of sending them into cardiac arrest; to people in
Nigeria, however, that’s only one of the reactions it inspires. One of
these would probably be shame, from those who are so quick to denounce
homoséxuality or pórn (or generally anything they’d rather believe
didn’t exist) as “foreign” or “not part of our culture” or any other
delusiónal term one might use to justify their lack of touch with
reality.
It appears to be this same mentality that is responsible for the deluge of articles hitting the internet about the ongoing Big Brother Africa Reality Show/Competition/Orgy. For any who may be unaware of what Big Brother Africa is, (you know, just in case you’ve been living under a rock or something) it’s an African version of international franchise created 16 years ago by a Dutchman called John De Mol. Wikipedia (or whoever edited the definition on it) defines the premise of the show as “a group of people living together in a large house, isolated from the outside world and continuously monitored by television cameras.” Since it first aired in the Netherlands in 1999, it’s gone on to be adapted in various countries around the world, seeing format changes such as the improvement of the Houses where contestants stay, from the “strippéd to the basics” stylings of the first edition to the luxurious designs we see in the house today. CONT.....http://www.naijagist.com/forum/index.php/topic,7985.0.html
It appears to be this same mentality that is responsible for the deluge of articles hitting the internet about the ongoing Big Brother Africa Reality Show/Competition/Orgy. For any who may be unaware of what Big Brother Africa is, (you know, just in case you’ve been living under a rock or something) it’s an African version of international franchise created 16 years ago by a Dutchman called John De Mol. Wikipedia (or whoever edited the definition on it) defines the premise of the show as “a group of people living together in a large house, isolated from the outside world and continuously monitored by television cameras.” Since it first aired in the Netherlands in 1999, it’s gone on to be adapted in various countries around the world, seeing format changes such as the improvement of the Houses where contestants stay, from the “strippéd to the basics” stylings of the first edition to the luxurious designs we see in the house today. CONT.....http://www.naijagist.com/forum/index.php/topic,7985.0.html
Monday 17 June 2013
60 Things Guys Should Know About Girls
1) For all we talk about how hot guys are. We mostly care about there personality. Though a hot body is a plus
2) We are just as shy as you are about relationships
3) Many of us don't let you see us cry, unless we want you to comfort us
4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if you are interested. But we will later deny it or make it into a joke
5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot or sexy. But not all of us
6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for you (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if you don't like what we wear say something likely look really nice today, but you know...I think I like you in jeans better'
7) We travel in groups for one of two reasons 1) because we want to share some form of gossip with each other or get advice on something 2) B/c we don't want to get caught by ourselves with you because we won't know what to say and are afraid we'll make a fool of ourselves
http://www.naijagist.com/forum/index.php/topic,7794.msg9239/topicseen.html#msg9239
2) We are just as shy as you are about relationships
3) Many of us don't let you see us cry, unless we want you to comfort us
4) We like dropping small flirts, to see if you are interested. But we will later deny it or make it into a joke
5) Most of us prefer to be call beautiful than hot or sexy. But not all of us
6) We only wear mini skirts, tank tops and skimpy cloths for you (unless it's REALLY REALLY hot outside). So if you don't like what we wear say something likely look really nice today, but you know...I think I like you in jeans better'
7) We travel in groups for one of two reasons 1) because we want to share some form of gossip with each other or get advice on something 2) B/c we don't want to get caught by ourselves with you because we won't know what to say and are afraid we'll make a fool of ourselves
http://www.naijagist.com/forum/index.php/topic,7794.msg9239/topicseen.html#msg9239
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